I got a call from a friend last night. about broken trust with her significant other and angry pain with a hint of desire for revenge. I am good friends with them both. She asked me what I would do in her shoes. I couldn’t answer her.

I know what I would do, but that’s not what I wanted to advise her. Because at an inkling of broken trust I’d be out of there, leave, shut down and shut that door tight, beat them to the punch, punch buggy no punch backs. I have very little trust to begin with after one too many burns… so if I smell smoke I’m checked out. I may indulge in a last few angry fucks first, but after that I’m gone, and even moving mountains won’t get my trust back.

And yet I want to tell her to seek counselling, to communicate and try to repair what was broken… the line was blurred, played with, not completely crossed after all, so I find myself playing devil’s advocate. I love the guy but he fucked up royally, and knows he did with deep regret. He needs a good smack upside the head and I want rip him a new one. and I will. Yet I want them both to try and fix this. It’s a purely selfish desire on my part. Because I care for them both so much.

But I didn’t tell her any of this. because she didn’t ask me for my advice… she asked me what I would do in her shoes. and all I would be able to answer is run, run, run and never look back.

So I just said I don’t know.